Im at strip club and am horny
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
