Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
