i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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