I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
