what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just threw up on my dentist
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
