I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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