I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
