Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
