tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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