I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
