So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My vagina just recognized that song.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Congratulations! We have a period
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
