Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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