what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
