i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
