Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
