were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize