I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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