Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
