she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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