i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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