so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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