marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
