I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
