instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Still dying that you shit outside
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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