you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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