it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
