Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
