I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just gift wrapped bread.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize