you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
