i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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