whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
