Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
actually, I'm a sock model
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
