So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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