I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
