? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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