Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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