The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
