wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
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