Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
