Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
