Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
