I'm gonna have a badass scar
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
