you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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