if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
