would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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