That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
