You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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