"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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