Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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