She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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