They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
