yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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