i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
