can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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