I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
