u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
