That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
