Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Shame - the story of my life.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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