Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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