I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
