don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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