ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
handjob tips. give me some.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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