I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
