where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
