they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
